I was at the bank the other day and they pulled out a binder with the statement “M-Z” on it. It meant anyone who’s names started with M and went to Z (Zorro maybe?) ended up in that binder and that’s when it struck me that everything we do ends up in a small container. Think about it. We have personell file at work, we have a permanent record at school, we have a file at the doctors. Our lives are contained in tiny, small, enclosed cases. They hold everything about you too. Social Security Number, date of birth, full legal name, all that jazz. This is scary to me.
What’s even scarier is making out a last will and testament. I’m not making a last will and testament. When I die, I’m having my girlfriend put all my shit on the sidewalk with a big “FREE” sign on it. Fuck last will and testaments. It’s a creepy fucking thing to do, ESPECIALLY 50 years before the fact! I mean, you do it when you get married, is what I’ve heard. When you get married, you make out a last will and testament. Some people get married in their early early twenties. That means they’re like, 50 years or so ahead on death already! Well, we never really KNOW when death is coming, but this is the idea of everyone dies in the age of about 80, ok? So think about that. You just got married and you’re ALREADY planning your funeral and who you’re going to leave all your useless junk. Your collection of bubblegum baseball cards, your josie and the pussycats roller skates and your fake lightsaber.
What’s an even MORE ironic twist, you ask? Could there be one, your friend mutters in disbelief. There is. Fuck, WE even end up in a small container. We go from birth in the womb-a small container-through life in cars, homes, buildings and then folders of our info-all small environments, and then when we die we end up in either an urn or a fucking casket. We actually end up like last Thursday Nights Macaroni Helper! People are LEFTOVERS! We’re in god damned tupperware! We start in the womb and we die in a tomb! It’s FRIGHTENING. Like I said, I’m not going to make a last will and testament. Actually, I think I’ll either do the free sign or have everyone I know fight eachother for my crap. That’d be awesome if I was alive to SEE it.
I have no more to say on this subject, so here’s an adorable puppy.

m@rk

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