One of the perks of turning 18 was I could finally call myself in sick, wether I really was or not.
When I turned 16, the perk was I could finally drive. When I turned 17, I could go see R-rated movies by myself, and when I turned 18, I can buy porn, ciggerettes, and buy lottery tickets. When I turn 21, I can gamble and drink.
Wait, I can’t lose money to a machine BEFORE I buy life threatening ciggerettes? What the fu*k is that all about?
Well anyways, those are the perks of turning different ages, now I’ve done all those perks, except for buying ciggerettes (since I don’t smoke) or buying a lottery ticket (since I don’t want to or havn’t wanted to yet). So what am I waiting for honestly? I’m waiting for 21, not because you can drink, ’cause I’ll never do that, no, because then I can gamble. Out of all the different perks you get when you turn different ages, I’d have to pick the best 3:
BEST THREE PERKS OF GETTING OLDER:
1.Getting to Drive
2.Buying Porn
3.Gambling
I was going to put, “See R-rated movies”, but since everybody now has Showtime or HBO and the cable company keeps putting on innappropriate movies on at a time when little kids can see them, it makes sense that I didn’t put it down. So, those are the best 3 perks, but why? Well getting to drive is fun, I have a motto, “Cop didn’t see it, I didn’t do it.” You can get away from your family and that’s awesome without a doubt. Gambling was third, gambling’s cool because it’s an adult video game. Adults keep saying, “Get of that DreamCast and go outside and play football or go for a walk!” And then they go play video poker. That’s fair. And of course, buying porn.
Listen, I’ve only been 18 for about 6 months, but god dam*it, I have bought so much porn in that short time that I now have more porn that pair of shirts. What can I say, I love the sh*t.
It’s a great thing, but it’s not fair, why do girls get to flaunt that stuff and make me feel weird about getting every erection I do? I wish the girls I knew just wanted to see my junk.
That’s the world I one day hope to live in.
MW
