Infant Cows
I’ve often heard little kids say, usually when I’m mugging them, that they want to grow up to be a firefighter, or a cop, or a stripper. Little kids say these sort of things all the time because they think it’s possible, well, give up kids, ’cause life only gets worse as you get older.
But I started thinking yesterday about baby cows, do infant cows think the same thing?
“When I grow up, I wanna be leather upholstery!”
“Oh yeah, well I’M gonna be a jacket!”
“Screw you guys! I’m gonna be workin’ for macdonalds! I have mad cow desiese, those are the ones they’re looking for!”
Sorry Mccy D’s.
Anyway, when I was a little boy, I wanted two things:
A. A Pink Princess Pony
B. To Be A Pirate
Being a pirate just seemed like a cool job, and the older you get, the more logical it seems. The older you get, into your teens, you DO start to loot, pillage and rape. The older you get you do go searching for “booty” and some of us even have to lose a leg and get a replacement. All seems logical to ME. I still wanna be a pirate.
I also still want my fu*king pink princess pony.
MW