I used to think that there were only 2 things in the world to be scared of. An old drunk asian guy on a cell phone driving a toyota pick up truck, and marriage. Now I’ve added a 3rd thing to the list. Well, 4th if you count government. So number 4 on the “YOU SHOULD BE F*CKING SCARED OF THIS SH*T” list is the best criminal ever.
The best home invader ever. He’s gotta be a castrated man.
Now for those of you little chittlin’s who don’t know what castration is, here’s my definition.
CASTRATION: A circumcision gone horribly horribly wrong, not only do they snip your penis, BUT THEY ALSO CUT OFF YER NADS! And they DO! They cut off your nuts, that’s what a castration is!
So really a castrated man is the worst guy in the world to invader your home, no, think, yeah really, think about it, alright. ‘Cause if some guy invaders your house and holds you at knife/gunpoint, you have 3 options.
OPTION #1
You can take any normal household object and turn it into a weapon
OPTION #2
Self defense by fighting physically WITHOUT a weapon
OPTION #3
Kick ‘em in the nuts
But if you don’t KNOW self defense and you HAVE nothing you can turn quickly into a weapon, then you’re only left with option #3, kicking the guy in the nuts, but wait, here’s the problem, HE WOULDN’T HAVE ANY IF HE’S CASTRATED! Do you see the dillema now?! Jerry Seinfeld would be the perfect criminal, distract you with his humor, and steal stuff from you at the same time, then when you get mad, you could kick him in the nuts, BUT WAIT, he’s castrated, so you couldn’t!
So you see, fear these things.
I’m also afraid of couples who look alike.
Come on.
That’s just creepy man.
MW
