Skitzo

If a skitzophrenic goes to therapy, do they have to pay double?

Same goes with to the movies, or an amusement park. Do they have to pay double? I wonder. I’m starting to believe my GF’s mom is either a skitzo, or satan. I am going to call CPS if anything else happens to her. But this woman clearly has issues. We also believe she is a virgin, which wouldn’t be too far off from the truth.

But back to skitzo’s. If a skitzo goes to a restaraunt, do they have to order for two?
“Yes, I’d like the veal, Todd, what will YOU be having this evening?”
Do they have to agree on movies that they rent or tv shows they watch, or what books to read? I could go on, but I’d rather not, I think you get the point.

I’m a one joke machine.

CHECK HER OUT (she is my soulmate)

MW

Lecture

I just had a lecture in my multimedia class about how much money it would cost to live in a 1br apartment. It came out to about 17,000 dollars, so we just rounded it out to about 20,000. That’s for a month. 20,000 a month. That’s not happening.

Mr. Dale Poor discussed what our financial plans should be, as our personal plans. Life plans. He said, that girls should not get pregnant until they’re about 25 and after they get a 4 year degree. He said that guys should not have kids until they’re about 27 and get married around 25 or so. Mr. Poor has an interesting point, to an extent. Yes, alot of this stuff makes sense, but let me lay out my life plan for you, and eliminate some stuff.

First off, me and my gf/fiance are not having kids. And we already made the decision not to get married until well into our 20’s. So we’re already on the smarter curve more than the other idiot kids our age. So with no kids, and not getting married until well into our 20’s, then that leaves us with the question of where we would be financial wise. She is probably going to college, even though she doesn’t want to, and I am not going to college, so all I will have is a high school diploma. I want to write for a living, which can get you alot of money if you’re successful. IDK what she wants to do for a living. I’m not even sure SHE knows, ha. But that’s okay, you don’t have to know right when you turn 17/18.

So, financial wise, do you think we could support ourselves in a 1br apartment?

PARTY QUESTION:
Do you think we could make it on our own as a couple?
BONUS PARTY QUESTION:
What are YOUR experiances in this feild?

MW

Obit

So, for those of you who are slow (most of you) I’m going to first define what an Obituary is.

OBITUARY: o·bit·u·ar·y [oh-bich-oo-er-ee] Pronunciation Key – Show IPA Pronunciation noun, plural -ar·ies, adjective
–noun
1. a notice of the death of a person, often with a biographical sketch, as in a newspaper.
–adjective
2. of, pertaining to, or recording a death or deaths: the obituary page of a newspaper.
[Origin: 1700–10; < ML obituārius, equiv. to L obitu(s) death (see obit) + -ārius -ary]

—Related forms
o·bit·u·ar·ist, noun

That’s what it means. Anyway, the most f’ed up thing ever happened. Somebody, from Associated Press, and apparently other papers, have written Brittany Speakers obit. WHILE SHE’S STILL ALIVE. This can only mean a few things. Yeah. It means that either these people are WAITING for Brittany to die, or she is and nobody knows. Now, why would you WAIT for somebody to die? Is her life THAT terrible that….

I think I just answered my own question.

Point being, it’s still f’ed up to do that kinda thing, even to someone I don’t like AT ALL. So Brittany, if you’re reading this, don’t die.

JUST BE F*CKING NORMAL!

And now, just to irritate you, here’s a Brittany Spears music video, because I like to aggrivate people, and what a better way to aggrivate somebody than to make them listen to HER?

Thank You,
MW

Google Image Search Is Some Scary Sh*t

So, my gf was having a conversation on the phone that I could listen in on, since her phone was on speaker, and her and her friend were “arguing” about hips. Her friend says there’s only one hip on the human body, my gf thinks there isn’t. To finish the fight, myself (and my gf) decided to look up the word “hips” on google image search.

WARNING: DON’T LOOK UP HIPS ON GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH.

You will find some WEIRD sh*t on google image search. Here’s what we found:

GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH
WORD: HIPS
CONCLUSION

So, to make this a bit more interesting, I will not stop here, no, I’m going to type in some more random words, and see what they come up with, the picture I find the most appalling and suits the word, I will post here, let’s begin, a total of 5.

GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH EASTER EGG HUNT
WORD #1: RECTUM
CONCLUSION
DON’T F*CKING LOOK UP THE WORD “RECTUM” ON GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH.

WORD #2: ACCIDENT
CONCLUSION

WORD #3: BURRITO
CONCLUSION

WORD #4: CHICKEN
CONCLUSION

WORD #5: CYCLOPS
THIS IS A REAL THING TOO, I READ AN ARTICLE ABOUT IT AND SAW ALL THE PICS, IT WAS A BIRTH DEFFECT, AND THE ANIMAL DIED A FEW DAYS LATER!
CONCLUSION

And here’s the URL for all of you interested in just what the F*CK it was I found when I searched the word “Rectum”.
http://images.google.com/images?gbv=2&svnum=10&hl=en&q=rectum&btnG=Search+Images

Enjoy.

MW

101 Words That Start With "W"

So, if you want an idea of what a normal everyday conversation between me and Aaron Smith is like, here’s just an EXCERPT from one of our MSN conversations a few days back:
Church says: (5:11:25 PM)how are things up there anyway?
Aaron says: (5:11:41 PM)cold
Church says: (5:11:47 PM)LOL! i’ll bet!
Church says: (5:11:49 PM)is it still snowing?
Aaron says: (5:11:54 PM)no
Aaron says: (5:12:00 PM)but its supposed to
Aaron says: (5:12:04 PM)sunday
Church says: (5:12:08 PM)cool
Aaron says: (5:12:16 PM)no cold
Church says: (5:12:19 PM)lol
Church says: (5:12:23 PM)i wish it would snow here
Aaron says: (5:12:37 PM)yeah so you can jew it up
Church says: (5:12:44 PM)jew it up?! lol!!!!
Aaron says: (5:12:46 PM)oh gosh so cooold
Church says: (5:12:49 PM)that was brilliant
Church says: (5:12:58 PM)”dude, stop jewin’ it up over there!”
Aaron says: (5:13:04 PM)i think im getting a weez
Church says: (5:13:11 PM)i think it’s “wheeze”
Aaron says: (5:13:17 PM)wiiz
Church says: (5:13:22 PM)no that’s a movie
Church says: (5:13:29 PM)and another word for pee
Aaron says: (5:13:34 PM)no that WIZ
Church says: (5:13:42 PM)oh that’s true
Aaron says: (5:13:43 PM)and weee
Church says: (5:13:47 PM)wii?
Aaron says: (5:13:57 PM)wiinee
Church says: (5:14:09 PM)”dude, how big is your wiiness?” omg, this conversation is going on my blog, lol
Aaron says: (5:14:29 PM)the wiiness conspiracy
Church says: (5:14:36 PM)starring matt damon!

BTW, if I’m ever in the financial state of funding a movie, it’s totally gonna be “The Wiiness Conspiracy” starring Matt Damon.

You can’t tell me that wouldn’t make millions.

MW