LIKE Like

No, this is NOT about how valley girls ruined the word “like” the way Jhonen Vasqueez “ruined” the word “Doom”. This is about how in school (doin’ alot of school stuff lately), generally in 3rd-6th grade, MAYBE 7th, kids will ask other kids, “So do you like me or do you LIKE like me?” I’m not sure that this is a clear description of what they’re asking. Why don’t they just come out and say, “Do you want to hold my hand?” Or, “Do you want to kiss me?” At least those are clear and to the point. It just seems to be another form of a misleading relationship question.

I never did the LIKE like thing. Of course I also was never a girl and they seemed to be the only ones who ever said that. And THAT being said, I also never went through a infatuation with the bad boy phase. I missed out on alot of childhood that was for the opposite sex.

Sometimes I regret being a guy.

M@rk

Laser Pointer

I bought a laser pointer today, at pet club of all friggin’ places, and it just seems hilarious and insensitive. Your cat gets driven out of it’s MIND chasing that thing, and we all just laugh it off. But laser pointers, I have found from just a few fun filled, laugh digested, defying the law hours, can be used for MANY things. For instance, they say it’s not cool to be talking on a cell phone while you drive, and if you have a major case of road rage, just take out the laser pointer and point it in the guys eyes. You may cause a bigger pile up than the guy on the cell phone EVER would, but at least you wouldn’t be late to work, and you’d be able to say, smugly too, “I help the economy.”
Laser Pointers are often used in colleges when professors need to give a presentation. But students now use them in classrooms to IRRITATE the very people who use them. I once saw a movie where someone had a laser pointer on the screen for a few minutes, not very cool. You could also make some badass Halloween costumes just by taping it to your head. Predator, or Terminator. Whichever you choose. Laser Pointers have some very practical uses. I’m not condoning laser pointing to cause traffic accidents or to bug your teacher, or even to play with your cat. I’m just saying they can be used for many things.

The thing I DON’T understand about them is that on the back of the box it tells you “KEEP AWAY FROM RETINA” (your eyeballs, for all you non-scientific folk out there). Yet, people get laser corrective surgery to FIX their eyes. Anybody else see a flaw here? SOMETHING IS LOSING F*CKING GROUND HERE.

M@rk

College

In my time off, during this vacation, I’d had time to think about things. Which is bad. You people should know by now that giving me the time to think results in these entries. F*cked up entries. POINT. My point, is that one of the things I thought about is college. Late at night, I’ll lay in bed, after I’ve turned my TV off or am done on my comp or am doing writing or reading or w/e, and I’ll start to visualize my future life.
Granted I live past the age 18.
But, anywho, I think about my future life. One of those things, is, college. My brother goes to college. Everyone I think I’ve ever known (or at least close to it) went to or currently resides at a college, and they all talk about how great it is, “When you get to college, life will be different, it will be on your own terms and you can do what you want when you want and it’s gonna be awesome!”

First off, I already can live on my own terms. My life is already that way. I don’t decide when to live. I can’t die, and then go, “Hey, ya know, this dead thing, not my fix, kinda boring, eh, the whole ‘hauntin’ thing gets old FAST, I’m gonna go live on my terms.” Zombies are very unreliable. And secondly, how good could college be when all you ever hear from college campus’s, IS ALL THE BAD SH*T THAT HAPPENS?! Rapes, murders, shootouts, drug overdoses. I mean, college, granted all of that could be fun UP UNTIL THAT POINT, is not considerably a “fun time” in my book.

Of course, my book is also the one nobody is reading, so who am I to complain?

And FYI, I’m not GOING to college.

M@rk

Your Mom

I just want to end this thing right here and now, your mom jokes, are NOT funny.
It is not funny in concept, idea, of execution, and it is not even funny in theory.
And if there are YOUR MOM jokes, why not YOUR DAD jokes, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, cousin, neice, nephew, grandparents, anything, including pets, is up for a joke.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go.
Your mom is telling me we should get back to it.

M@rk

New Hole

So, sometimes I find news stories so bizzare that they end up here rather than my LJ. Here’s a good one. Did any of you hear about the woman who was attacked by a sting ray while out on a fishing trip, and it stabbed her in the face?

Judy Kay Zagorski, of Pigeon, Mich., was sitting in the front seat of a boat going 25 mph when the spotted eagle ray, with a wingspan of 5 to 6 feet, leaped out of the water, said Jorge Pino, spokesman for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.

Something tells me that a stingray barb to the face is going to be the new hip way to get new earing holes made. Or tattoos done, one of the two. Because you KNOW I’m not going to be the first one to think of this. The stingrays are clearly pissed off about something we did because first Steven Irwin and now this woman. They’re mad as hell. And I can’t blame them. Heck, I’d be pissed too if I had to swim around with a giant toothpick on my ass.

M@rk