So this is interesting. There’s a link here to a suicide faq: (http://fringe.davesource.com/Fringe/Information/Suicide_FAQ.html#PART2)
and all the different ways of committing suicide. One of them was Caffeine. That doesn’t make much sense. Tons of people drink coffee or soda or whatever and they don’t die. Is there some suicide group somewhere mixing a latte’ into the punchbowl? And what happens if some kid commits suicide by caffeine?
“I’m sorry sir, I know this is a rough time, but your son has overdosed on Pepsi.”
The other one that made me laugh was Wrist Slitting. It said, “Slitting wrists or other.”
Other what?
Other people’s wrists?
I’m assuming that they were talking about your neck or whatever, but they just couldn’t find a way to word it better.
And apparently, after many years of math hating, I have found it serves a purpose, I present to you all, the suicide mathmatical formula:
SUICIDE MATHMATICAL FORMULA
Evaluate=WL*Lethality+WT*(456-Time)/4.56+WA*(100-Agony)
And there’s a suicidal calculator, on my now favorite new website:
http://ashbusstop.org/lta_calc.html
And apparently, how to write a note. They even have a “what not to write” section. I’d go with the will. I want my last will and testament to make the person I hate the MOST have to do something totally embarrassing. So like, “Mark Wiland has said that he would like (enter most hated person’s name here…they know who they are, ha) to go out, in a dress, in front of a train, and shout, ‘BOBBY, BOBBY COME ON HOME!’”
That would be so much fun, to be able to reach out from beyond the grave and screw with someone.
God I’m good.
M@RK
