Polidicks

Politics would be SO much more interesting if the candidates were sexier. I look at Hillary Clinton and just…I don’t know, I want her to teach me how to ride a bike or something. I can’t say for Barrack, ’cause I’m not gay, but from a straight point of view, he looks like he could be a history teacher or something. And McCain looks like a preacher.

So all in all, I want sexy candidates, then I’d be more influenced by them to vote. I think we should do this. There’s a website called www.sexypolitics.com but I don’t know if that’s what they do. All I’m saying is I want hot candidates. I want girls who will run this country, and not afraid to be in the red, white, and blew. I also think it’d be cool to involve the flagpole as a stripping pole, so that she could use it in for stripping. And possibly in her oval office, if you get the pun. And just to put this all in perspective, politics has ALWAYS been KINDA sexy. Just the names man. Laura BUSH and DICK Cheney.

Politics makes me SO horny.

M@RK

Nosey vs Curious

There’s a difference, as I consider myself curious and others consider me nosey.

Nosey would be going up to some stranger on the street and asking them, “How many people? How many people have you f*cked? HOW MANY PEOPLE…HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU F*CKED IN YOUR LIFETIME! I WANT A NUMBER OF HOW MANY PEOPLE…YOU HAVE F*CKED….IN YOUR LIFE!”

I’m the opposite, I’m curious.
I just ask my FRIENDS how many people they’ve f*cked. Not strangers.

Thanks for your time.

M@RK

Roto-Router

This is another “perfecting the net” idea.

They have always said from the beginning that the internet is just a series of tubes, and what happens with pipes and tubes? Such as say, ones in your toilet? They get clogged. Right. So what we are facing is the impending disaster that eventually the net will be so overlogged with information, it will crash, and all the tubes will get “clogged”.

I present to you, the plumber of the internet, the “Roto-Router”.

It’s something we’d have to invent, but it’d be able to take all the info that was OLD on the internet, archive it somewhere, and then let all the new info go on. Here’s what we’d do. First, we’d have to purchase a domain name, such as “www.rotorouter.org” or whatever. That would be the help site, that’d be where all the archives are, so the info is still THERE, but in text and pic format, NOT HTML. Roto-Router would have a twitter page, so that we could let it know of problems. I thought about the problem of what would happen if the net went down and we couldn’t CONTACT Roto-Router, how would it know to fix it? Well, if the net goes down, and it can’t be contacted on Twitter, it would know something is wrong, go find the plug, and unclog it. Thus allowing all the new updated info to be posted.

Roto-Router:
Saving our net, one twitter at a time.

M@RK

Agnostic

I looked up my brothers Facebook page yesterday while in class. It had him listed as Agnostic under “religion”. I laughed at this after I thought about it.

Is it only me, or does anyone else find Agnostic a dumb idea? I think it’s stupid because it’s what I like to call, a “safe point”. You’re totally ready and willing to be an athiest, no doubt about it, but you’re protecting yourself just in CASE there happens to BE a God. You’re saving yer ass early. I think all Agnostics end up in purgatory. Because, purgatory is right between heaven and hell.

They just couldn’t decide.

Purgatory and Agnostics are also in the same haven as Liberals. We will BELIEVE some of both. But we don’t wanna admit which one is right. I think a LOT of humanity is like that actually. Bisexuals are the same way. No offensive, I love all these people.

I’m not saying don’t believe in God.
Believe in who/whatever you want that makes you feel good.
I’m just saying if you’re gonna lie and be indecisive, admit it and cop to it and let’s move on.

No sense it not cutting through the bull.

M@RK

Pimp My Net

I’ve got some more ideas to make the internet better.

Apparently, the internet is nothing but a series of tubes, here’s the definition of the internet from an online dictionary:

INTERNET:–noun a vast computer network linking smaller computer networks worldwide (usually prec. by the). The Internet includes commercial, educational, governmental, and other networks, all of which use the same set of communications protocols.

That’s basically the net for ya. I think you should be able, in order to prevent virus’s, disconnect your network from the worldwide network. Basically, my theory is two accounts. You’d have a worldwide account that you could use to surf the net, and to download stuff from, and then a private account that only your family and friends could see, where you could update your twitter and blog and such. That way, your chances of getting a virus is cut into the 50/50 ratio. I also think it would be a good idea to invent something for fixing your computer in about 5 seconds. This is the “Computer Companions” team. Basically, what they do, is you’d call them up on Skype, and they’d be on your contact list. They’d be a trained, professional team of PC and MAC geeks who have worked for both companies, who would be able to handle whatever problems you have, and it’d be fixed in under a few minutes, all from the comfort of your chair and Cheeto’s bag.

I also think it’d be cool to be able to have something where, if you visit webseries sites, or blog sites, you’d have 1 all purpose downloader. It’d be called the “Bulk Byte”. Everything is a kilobyte, or a nanobyte, or a megabyte, you get the idea. So the Bulk Byte would be able to capture all the stuff that’s new that you visit regularly, friend updates from social networking sites, webseries, comics, blogs, whatever, and download it all right to your desktop so you wouldn’t have to go searching for all the damn stuff separately.

So far, we have the Accounts, the Computer Companions, and the Bulk Byte, and if I think of anything else, I’ll let you guys know, and if you think of anything, feel free to leave your comments.

M@RK