Taxi

(bit of a longwinded post, and no it’s not about the Jim Brooks classic show by the same name).

I just took a Taxi home from Colton’s house. I left at about 3:47 am. I assumed the guy on the other end was just a guy in an office, but ya know that time of morning where you’re so exhausted and hungry that anything starts to make sense, and theories begin to swirl around in your noggin? Yeah, TTTHHHAAATTT time of day. That was this time. Where you really start to THINK about things, and then THOSE things start to think about things. It’s a thinking party in your brain. So as soon as I hung up the phone, I immediately assumed that that guy was writing down everything he knew about me. That he had me up on his computer screen, and was checking out where I was born, what time and sh*t like that, and then he sent one of his goons to get me. I assumed that as soon as I got in the Taxi, the guy would take me to some abandoned warehouse, and a whole “Hostel” thing would unfurl.

I effing LOVE that time of day.
Great ideas for movies.

But of course the guy arrived and the only thing that happened was I had to pay him. Not too bad. But as soon as I got in, the guy asked me, “So, is where you’re wanting to go in San Jose?”
NOT what you wanna hear when taking public transportation.
SERIOUSLY.

The dude shouldn’t be in the business if he doesn’t know where the F*CK his people are going! Specifically since I told his boss on the phone before where I was, and where I was HEADED. You just ASSUME that they’d tell the DRIVE THIS KIND OF SH*T! But nonetheless, I told him where I was headed, and so we were off. I have another theory then pop into my cranium. All the red stop lights we could hit, we DID hit. Because Taxi’s take fare, I started to wonder if there was some dude at the Taxi company who could see all the lights on the streets, and decided, on all the streets the Taxi’s were on, the hit the red lights so that the fare would go up when we’re not moving. Now THAT theory actually does make a lick of sense. To me anyway. Point is, we got to my house and everything was fine, but still, a note about public transportation, this is the worst moment in my PT history:

I was taking a school bus home. The bus asked me where I live. AGAIN, bad thing if they have to ASK you, especially a school bus who has a LIST of the students, and their addresses! Okay, I got past that, no big whoop. But here comes the GREAT part. Apparently, my street (being horizontal and all) crosses over into the parking lot for the light rail station. So the bus pulls into the parking lot for the light rail station. YES BUS DRIVE, I LIVE IN THE F*CKING LIGHT RAIL PARKING LOT!

Ugh, I am SO learning to drive soon.

M@RK

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