For the past month and a half, I’ve lost all ambition, all drive, everything, to do ANYTHING. I mean, no kid wants to get up and go to school, but now I REALLY don’t care. I used to believe that maybe it’d be good for me in the long run. It won’t. I also used to believe that having friends is important. I’m starting to disprove that theory to myself as well, considering all my “friends” disappear when I need someone to talk to, but are CONVENIENTLY around when THEY have issues to talk about. And as for family, F*CK THEM.
In life, it’s you, on your own. There’s no God there to watch over, there’s no Jesus to point you in the right direction. Parents and cops only enforce laws and rules, but YOU ultimately decide what you think is right and wrong. They can’t teach you that. Murder may be wrong to someone, and right to someone else, and who’s to say who’s correct? We are all alone. And until I see some pretty convincing evidence proving otherwise, I’m sticking to that theory.
So my position is this:
Friends hate me
Family hates me
My therapist (not russ, although I’m pissed at HIM too) is a bitch and dropped me as a client, making me lose any last shred of respect for women I had
Love is stupid
Life sucks
It’s all meaningless
Boy, am I depressed or what?
And ya know what, it doesn’t matter. Because really, what this ends up being is the truth about what works for you. People say nobody should smoke. Well if it makes them feel better, then leave them the hell alone. Same with me, stop badgering me about being depressed. If keeping everything bottled up inside until I eventually implode upon myself and buy a rope works for me, then leave me the hell alone about it and take me as I am.
We’re alone.
Get over it.
m@rk
