Chick Flicks

I just went and saw “Mama Mia” the movie musical, with music and lyrics by ABBA, a 70’s disco band. First of all, it was like someone recorded someone else’s bad acid trip. And secondly, it made me wanna go out and get a boyfriend.

But what I’m getting at is that it was a TOTAL AND COMPLETE chick flick. You know those movies, the ones where only chicks would like them. Hospital room movies. And Titanic. 

“Men are from mars

Women are from venus

Girls have vaginas

Men have the penis

Men wanna visit a trainyard

And the women pine for venice”

That’s my stance on THAT. But if you want to get a girl, I suggest start enjoying chick flicks. There are many things you will have to endure when with a woman. Her period, her BS, and her movies. That’s why I liked girls that were underground cult kinda girls. Girls that liked monty python and stuff. Now I hate basically all women, but whatever. I also suggest men start wearing tighter clothes to show off their bodies to women (lots of girls have stared at me since I started wearing skinny jeans and tighter shirts) and I suggest that men also start carrying purses.

And if you men actually do this, then I just proved mind control works.

m@rk

A Girl Screamed At Me

So I went to the mall earlier, and a girl screamed in my face while I was standing outside waiting for my ride. She walked right by me, and she was cute. She had short blonde hair in two braids, I mean, she was CUTE. But, I’m never going to really want to date again, so whatever. Anyway, she walked right by me with her friend, looked at me in the face, and did some sort of bat skreetch. Afterwards, she came running back and said she was just having fun, smiled, and then ran off.

Either I’m so hot that girls can’t talk to me without screaming, or now people are using mating calls.

I’m going to go with the first one. Because it’s so much more egotastical. No. That is NOT a word. But you still can’t use it. Anyway, it was an odd experience. Rarely do girls say anything to me. I was thinking about this earlier today, and I realized women have all the power. They can chose who they want to talk to, and who they don’t, and it can drive a man to madness/suicide. I’m not far from wanting the second one lately. But not only do they have THAT option, but every girl will get talked to and liked by SOMEONE. So they’re NEVER alone. Men don’t have that. Not all men are liked by at least one girl. 

So men, we’re screwed.

I propose we all turn gay.

Then women can’t have children without artificial insemination.

And then the population will decrease.

And the species will die out.

MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Or, you ladies can continue to scream into my face.

Please do.

Then I can’t hear your lies, like when you say, “I love you.”

m@rk