Full Circle

I’m getting pretty damn sick of feeling lonely all the time. Aaron moved to Washington in July, right at the end of the month, and I went to the airport with him to see him off. Well, in September, I’m paying to fly him back out here. It was right around that time that I noticed my world start to collapse around me. And then got better before they got relatively worse. The funniest part is everything came kinda full circle. I started with a friend who left, had nobody, found someone, spent as much time with them as I did with Aaron, then I made a huge mistake, and am left with nothing anymore, and now Aaron’s coming BACK here to visit. I just figured, well, it’s been about a year now, I may as well do a bit of a retrospective on the whole entire situation.

Being lonely isn’t fun. Everday I sit at home either writing things are sound less depressed than I am, or I sit listening to sad music. How depressing is THAT? The characters that I write are less depressed than MYSELF. That’s pretty damn sad. But that’s the way life goes I ’spose. 

So I guess some people are just meant to be all alone. I guess I’m one of those people.

And ya know what…..at least there’s no stress level of dealing with people I’d eventually unintentionally hurt, so it does have it’s advantages.

m@rk

Nursing Home

The only good thing about getting older is that you get to ruin your parents lives, and there isn’t a damn thing they can do about it.

For the first 12 years they take care of you pretty well, sure, they have some rules, and sure we don’t agree with them because, well, we’re children. We can’t mount a sophisticated argument to face them with. But as soon as you turn 13, and until you’re 17, you are their BITCH. They know this, and you know this, and the fights only get worse. Like if they won’t let you go to a concert, you argue, and they worry, because now you CAN mount a sophisticated argument against their rules, and you can keep the battle ongoing until they forget what you were arguing against, and it all blows over, and you each have a milkshake, say you’re sorry and start all over 15 minutes later. Hooray for run on sentences!

This is also the reason why so many kids shut down, or commit suicide. They don’t see any other option, and immediately think that not talking to their parents or killing themselves (both of which I’m in agreement with) is the only way out. Some kids also kill their parents. Then plead the court for mercy because their orphans. But as soon as you’re 18, oh MAN, it’s all over for them. You can now legally stay out late and make them sweat it out. You can do horrible things to yourself to show them that what they did screwed you up.

And as soon as you move out, they become depressed because they no longer have anyone to boss around, which is why they beg for grandchildren. Eventually, you get to finally show your parents what’s good. You can tell them you’re taking them to a great nursing home, get them in the car, and start driving, and go to an empty parking lot. You then make them look out the window and exclaim, “There’s no nursing home dad, THIS IS WHERE THAT CONCERT WAS!!!!!!”

Then leave them there, tied to a chair.
Ah yes, the only other thing that’s better than getting back at your parents, is having kids and raising them better than your parents raised you. Just to upstage them and show them you’re better than they are. Parents just f*ck with us, and that’s all there is to it. And the sooner we all realize it, the sooner we can get kids and parents to respect eachother. Respect, something that should be EARNED by the parent, not GIVEN because they are older or bigger. It should be based on their experience and their performance.

And that’s all I got’s to say about that I tell’s ya.

m@rk