Subtitles

There are certain things wrong with the idea behind subtitles. First of all, what if someone was blind, AND deaf. There’s no such thing as braille subtitles. Secondly, there are certain things you can’t WATCH with subtitles. They’ve become such a problem sometimes, I’ve noticed lately that a lot of DVD’s don’t even offer them as an OPTION. Suppose an American man wanted to watch a japanese film, but was illiterate and couldn’t understand their language. That right there is a problem.

As I said, there are certain things you cannot watch with subtitles, one of which is porn. You can’t watch porn with subtitles. All it would be is, “OOOOohhHHHHHYESSSOOOhhhMMmYYYYFUUUUooooHHHH!!!!!” and THAT is not a word. That’s not even a SENTENCE. I think subtitles should come with real life. I think everybody should have their own pair of subtitles, so when speaking to someone, and you don’t believe something they’re saying, you could just turn on their subtitles. So you’re speaking to a friend of a friend and he’s saying, “Oh yes, last weekend was HHHOOOTTT, I hooked up with these two blonde college girls man! CRAZY!”. Turn on his subtitles and it would read, “I am SO fulla sh*t.”

I’d even put subtitles on certain TV shows on DVD. Such as “American Idol”. You’d throw on the subtitles and it would just insult the people. I know they already have Simon to do that, but the subtitles would also insult YOU. They’d say things like, “Why? WHY do you WATCH this!? THERE’S NO PLOT!”

The last thing we need subtitles on, is people from other countries and don’t speak our language too well, and we don’t understand theirs. There should be foreigner subtitles. Because quite frankly, I find it a bit ironic that there aren’t. Even when the aliens get here we’re going to need them. Because you know that as soon as they get here and they ask for our World Leader, we’re going to point and say, “Well, you know that street right past the ‘Best Buy’?”

m@rk