The More Formal You Are

Apparently, if you’re formal when you speak to someone, it says that you’re being rude to them or are angry. I know this is true because when I get angry at my dad, instead of calling him “Dad” I will call him “Scott”. So if are angry at someone, say something to them formally and they will be able to pick up the hint that you are upset with them. It’s great because it’s subtle but not TOO subtle. It’s not like yelling “FUCK YOU!” it’s more like WHISPERING “fuck you”.

http://www.englishclub.com/tefl/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=3915 (this is where I got my sources from for the following theory):
Difference between formal and informal English
by Weibing on Mon May 21, 2007 11:56 pm
Hi,everyone,
Could you tell me what’s the difference between formal and imformal English?!
A letter to a friend may be informal. A website forum like this one may also imformal. But we usually see such greetings as ‘Dear Weibing’. It seems ‘Hi, Weibing’ is quite natural here.
Contractions sounds informal. ‘I’m', ‘we’re’, ‘there’s’ etc are all natural to me. I wonder if such contractions could be seen in an English textbook,an English dictionary or a president’s speech – all these should be considered formal. I once used ‘it’ll’(instead if ‘it will’) in a letter to my friend Steve, but he pointed out that I should avoid using ‘it’ll’. Then when should I use ‘I am’, ‘we are’ instead of ‘I’m’ and ‘we are’?
Maybe the difference between formal and informal English is not that clear. we may have ‘very informal’, ‘quite formal’ etc?!
I’d appreciate any reply from you all. Thanks again – maybe more formal: thank you again!
Best wishes,(Maybe here just ‘yours’, ‘love’ or nothing at all here.)
Weibing

So apparently, english is changing. Apparently from what I read on the forum, texting and the like are changing the way people speak. The internet specifically. What with words like ‘noob’ & ‘w00t’ coming into the fray (yeah, you liked that word usage didn’t you bitch?), it’s easier to just use slang instead of regular speech. And apparently, regular formal speech is EVIL and means you’re a self-obsessed sadistic snob. I find this entirely untruthful, and I’d write a letter to whomever assumes it’s true. Tell me which sounds worse:

“Dear Kyle,

I regret to inform you that you’re latest tax claims did not file through correctly. You will be being audited on the 16th of December.

Thanks for your cooperation.

F.B.I.”

OR

“Dude, Kyle! Wassup?!?!?!!?!

OMG man, I TOTALLY let this slip my mind bro! So k, like, check this shit. I went to the post office to see if I could hit that shit, ya know, that bitch behind the counter, the blonde one? Well w/e. So I goes there and I TOTALLY didn’t mail your checks! Now you’s gonna be AUDITED SUCKA! Hahaha, let’s go out tonight man. My treat. Seriously. You’re going to jail ’cause of me.

Todd”

……I think the second one sounds rude. However, Todd is kind of an asshole.
Screw this I’m going to bed.

m@rk