Kits
I was at Office Depot last night and I was looking at tax, credit and receipt keeping logs. Beside them in neat rows were premade kits, things like, living will and last will and testament. But they also had divorce, and bankruptcy. This made me laugh like a hyena for about 15 minutes straight, seriously. And it makes sense doesn’t it? I mean look at the chart below.
I mean think about that for a second. Divorce has become so popular that they made a fucking KIT for it. It’s a hobby now, like building model trains. People are basically expecting everyone to get divorced and so they have these kits, which-BY THE WAY-says on the front, “Everything you need in order to be ready for your divorce, and saves you the hassles of legal fees!” YES, IT FUCKING SAYS THAT, the only thing MISSING, is the word “impending” right after “everything you need in order to be ready for your”. I think this is genius though. They should start making kits for everything! Everything has become a hobby now. Say some kid doesn’t how to masturbate. So little 14 year old Timmy wants to masturbate for the first time, and so he goes out and purchases The Beginners Guide To Masturbation Kit. Inside it includes a booklet (with pictures instructing you on what to do), condoms, and even a coupon for the step up kits, such as; The First Time Blowjob kit, which includes a fake mouth, and the First Time Virginity Kit, which includes…well you get the idea.
These kits could be amazing. And they’d make ‘em for everything! Murderers, the beginners guide to homocides kit. It’d range from Christianity to Necrophelia. Because think of all the odd products we have in America. We have edible panties, we have just about every odd product you can think of. You know that it’s going to get to the point where someone makes a god damned pedophile kit. So these things would just be another add on, and you KNOW for a fact that they’d catch on.
I want a “How to effectively alienate people kit”. I mean, I do it pretty damn well as it is WITHOUT the kit, but still. Be useful to have.
m@rk
