My Dear Friend, Morality

I’m sad to report that morality has passed away.

Morality, age 3.57 billion years, was found dead yesterday, ironically enough, stabbed by his brother (whom has been in and out of prison for 2.67 billion years) Indecency. Indecency’s trial is to be held on the 14th of December, and is sure to be one of epic proportions. Morality is survived by his wife Common Sense, age 4.32 billion years, and their children: Chivalry (age 12) and Billy (age 6). Memorial service is to be held this Sunday, followed by tea and cake back at his estate.

Ya know, things just don’t seem as great as they used to be. At least at some point back in the day, which was a Wednesday by the way, people used to be grateful and kind to eachother, at least on a daily basis. It’s Thanksgiving today, and things seem worse than ever. First off, we have to remember what this day stands for. Thanksgiving, the one day during the year where we sit down and give thanks to the people we slaughtered and took land from. Secondly though, it’s sad that at this day and age, there are only a few things that can get people to come together, such as:

• A terrorist attack
• Holidays
• A funeral
• A wedding
• A birth

I mean, that’s pretty much about IT. Kids no longer go to their mothers and say, “I love you mom” without it being Mother’s Day. Nobody buys gifts anymore-just for the hell of being nice-unless they expect to receive one in return. What the hell happened?! We used to be good people! Well it’s Thanksgiving. Which is ironic, ’cause I got practically nothing to give thanks for. And after reading this, you’ll understand WHY, and hopefully agree. Oh no wait, I DO have something to give thanks for! I forgot!

I give thanks that I can see the world more clearly than you.

m@rk