I’m an avid fireplace fan.
Anytime that the weather allows, or whatever (yeah, fuckin’ elegant writing isn’t it?), I will light that bitch up. Who doesn’t enjoy a nice cozy fire? So, I came to find that there’s a law now that on the spare the air days, you cannot light fires. Which, I guess…yeah I CAN understand, but it doesn’t mean I agree with it. And generally, how often do we even HAVE spare the air days? It’s like, 1 time a year isn’t it? Right. WE’VE HAD ABOUT 6 OF THEM SO FAR THIS YEAR. Now, not only is it aggrivating that there’s a law about it, and that we’ve had way more than we’re supposed to, which prevents me from lighting a jolly good flame…oh no, this gets BETTER.
When I found out that it was a law, the first thing anyone asks is, “Well who’s really watching?” You know those little tags on the matresses that say, “Do not remove under pentalty of law”? Exactly! Who the fuck’s gonna know if you remove one?! NOBODY! There’s no matress swat team just sitting around waiting for you to do that, it doesn’t exist! So of course, that’s the first place I went to. Guess what? THERE’S ACTUALLY A FUCKING TEAM FOR THIS ONE. Yeah! Yeah, a retired group of environmentalists actually will drive around and look for smoke on nights that are “spare the air” day nights. What a second, so a bunch of retired assholes are driving around POLLUTING THE AIR, to find MY SMOKE?! AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES ANYTHING WRONG WITH THIS FUCKIN’ PICTURE?!
…Ugh…
Ya know, it’s things like this that really make me hate law enforcement type groups. It’s all totally insane, and doesn’t really make that big of a god damned difference. Well ya know, I’m tellin’ ya what I’LL be doin’ on the next “spare the air” day. I’ll be lightin’ that bitch up like the 4th of July.
m@rk
