I read online today about a guy who found a hive full of bees nesting in his grill in his backyard.
Apparently, Joe Stupid had noticed a few bees flying in and out of his grill cover and didn’t seem to think there may be more. He took a can of bug raid or whatever they use to kill pests, and tied it to a rake, and stuck it under the cover. He had one of those, big black grill cover things. Anyway, he came back out a while later, and an entire puddle of dead bees were laying on his deck. Apparently-when he pulled up the cover-he found a huge hive and honeycombs, some even with honey IN them. Hundreds, possibly thousands of bees, had just been nuked like Noriega.
How the fuck do you not notice that sort of thing? The only way they could have built that was if the dude hadn’t grilled for like, a couple MONTHS or something! There are certain things in life that you should notice right off the bat, such as when I said you don’t need a fire alarm to tell you your HOUSE IS ON FIRE. So with that being said, this guy should have noticed there were more than just a few bees living all up in his grill. You loved that, admit it.
I mean, how do you not notice something that obvious? That’s like going into a bedroom, opening a closet and saying, “Hey, THERE’S my fur coat!”, which is conveniently hung beside a breathing black bear, who probably will come out during the night, steal your money, kill your family, and then go and perform circus acts in vegas until he’s found dead off cocaine in his hotel suite. This reminds me of the ol’ saying, “It’s like the elephant in the room.” WHO DOESN’T NOTICE A FUCKING ELEPHANT!? Who is seriously sitting there, sipping tea and going, “My GOD we need this couch fixed, it tilts WAAAY too much!” There’s so many things wrong about that!
And my deepest condolences to the family of Brownie, the junkie black bear. May he rest in peace. His memories of funny circus antics shall be with us always. I’m also sorry that I wasn’t around much this week, I got sick, then our internet died, it’s been a weird couple weeks. So have a good weekend everyone, I have to go fish a squid out of my garage.
m@rk
