The Girl Of My Dreams Is Naked

So the other night I had a sex dream, and it kinda scared me.

I’m so confused by the idea of sex dreams. I mean, we see so much sex in America in this day and age that at this point it’s not suprising that we even have sex in our sleep. Americans are sick perverted pigs. However, what I like about sex dreams is that they can take place wherever you want them to, and you can do WHATEVER you want to. Things you never thought imaginable are now possible thanks to sex in your sleep.

Like, say my girlfriend doesn’t like to dress up (she does, but that’s not the point, it’s a hypothetical situation) so we never have fun dress up sex. But in my dreams, I could put anything on her that I want. A kitty ears and tail, or like, put her in a french maid costume, or make her vagina look like a fire hydrent. It’s AWESOME. But it frightens me too because you never know what someone’s sexual preference is. Like while you’re having a normal sex dream, someone you thought you knew very well could be having sex dreams too about his girl…when she was EIGHT.

The other thing that’s cool is it can take place anywhere, as I said previously. That means I could finally fullfill my lifelong dream of having sex in the rain! But again-and this time myself included-sometimes people go to WEIRD places when they get the chance. Like, one minute me and my girl will be in the bathtub with candles, soft music and be kissing, and one second later, we’d be in like, a volcano and her face has turned into a seahorse. Seriously, what the FUCK!?

But these arn’t the reasons my dream scared me. The reason my dream scared me was because I was sleeping with a guy named Darryl.

m@rk