Back in the 50’s, it was the war that kept people apart. People were spread apart by the sea, and so they couldn’t be with the ones they loved. There were parents that kept people apart from then on as well. But this day and age, we kids of today don’t have the war to keep us apart, and generally not even parents. No, what keeps us long distance relationships apart THESE days…is our cell phone minutes.
Seriously, and I know because-not only do I have this problem in my relationship-I have friends who have this problem too. My friend Aaron had this problem, so he bought phone cards, and used that instead. There ARE ways around it. One of the things that bugs me is what people think when they hear that someone has a long distance relationship. They always say some turdshit like thing, “Oh, that won’t last, you need the physical connection!” or that we’ll get lonely eventually or something. Well, no that’s not true. I mean, to some extent maybe, but if you’re dedicated, willing and truly in love, it’s possible to make things work. When Seirra and I found out about our minutes problem, we made rules. Text only during the day, and call only after 9, because both are free. And if we couldn’t do those things, we figured we’d handwrite, or e-mail. Sometimes-more often than not-the distance IS worth the love.
Now onto something a bit more humerous. Is it only me, or can you somehow imagine this becoming a true relationship problem? Like, two people live in two totally different places and one day the guy calls and says, “Jill, listen, we can’t keep doing this, I’m sorry, it’s not you…actually it’s not ME either, it’s my phone.”
Or god, even worse, “Baby, I’ve wasted so many minutes on you.”
Eventually this sort of thing is going to be taking that comical and retarded turn to where men-and I say MEN because they’re the only ones who ever seem to use excuses, especially ones THIS bad-will start using their phones as ways out of relationships.
“Baby, the cost of electricity to keep charging this thing for you is just getting to me, I’m sorry.”
If you can’t keep a relationship going because you’re too far away, or it costs too much money, or you can’t think of anyone but yourself, then you either aren’t worth the womans love, or it isn’t true love. But if you’re one of those people, look for me on a beach in Italy in 2017, ’cause that’s where I’ll be getting married. Don’t worry, you’ll be invited over, open bar, on us.
m@rk
