The great thing about life is that it’s temporary.
The saddest thing about writing a suicide note is that it’s like a haiku. It has to be written a certain way. It has to be along the lines of, “Please forgive me, but I just can’t go on. It’s all too much to go on with, and I just can’t take it anymore.” If you stray from that set template of a suicide note then you are considered an asshole. I want to write a suicide note. Just to see how fun it could be.
Something like, “I killed myself, not because I’m depressed but because of YOU people. YOU people are what drove me to this, and I hope you’re FUCKING happy. By the way, I never loved any of you.”
Something to THAT extent. But see the problem with ME is that I’m a writer, so I could never end my note. I’d keep re-writing it, trying to get it just right. Eventually it’d turn into a whole novel and I’d have a reason to live. The other thing about suicide notes is that it’s hard to come up with something original. It’s always the same bullshit, “Boo hoo, I can’t go on, I’m SOOO sad.” Give me a break, give me something new, something fresh, something original.
You REALLY wanna fuck with people? Write a BACKWARDS note. Write it with a DIFFERENT perspective.
Something like, “I love you people SO much! I love the sunshine, and bunnies and chocolate! I am so happy and smiling!”
Give me THAT sorta suicide note. That can totally fuck with people. They will NEVER know why you committed suicide. You’re dead, but there’s a note like THAT. Talk about a mindfuck.
As Hobbes said so casually, “It’s not the pace of life I mind, as much as it is the abrupt stop at the end.”
m@rk
