I am going to eventually move far far away.
It’s a great thing to be so fucking far away from everyone in my family that I never have to see, hear or speak to any of them EVER again. All I ever do is get criticized for my beliefs and opinions, then attacked when I retaliate and defend myself. I only ever get used. Could anyone truly blame me for committing suicide if I did? From the father who left me when I was younger to the father who left because he’s a stuck up snob who doesn’t even care about his children’s future schoolings. He wants them to pay for college themselves so he can live in an apartment with no worries or cares. They hate him. Deep deep down, they have to. To my mother, the woman who always makes me cry hard at least once a day. There’s almost not a night I don’t cry myself to sleep now. To have a family is supposed to be a wonderful thing, you’re supposed to feel safe and loved. I have never EVER felt either. I’ve made my friends my family, because they’ve cared more than any member actually ever has. I’ve got my girlfriend, who actually tells me she loves me, opposed to my family whom I’ve heard it from….oh that’s right…HARDLY EVER!
Every kid wants to move out eventually, even if they are for different reasons than the norm. My friend Aaron moved away so he could finally be free and happy. I envy him. He’s so god damned lucky. There’s a few great things that go along with moving out and hating your family. One of which is that I never have to tell them where I’m going to live, so they can NEVER find me. They will also never meet their grandchildren, or my wife, or anyone. The only comforting thing is to know that they’re all going to DIE before me.
And that-as sick as it sounds-makes me actually laugh.
m@rk
