Vanity Plates
Facebook just made a huge change to their site by allowing people to add their names at the end of their facebook URL. So now instead of http://www.facebook.com/36559ghege7 or whatever, it’s http://www.facebook.com/tombenny. One of my friends on the site updated their status asking-and I quote-”I’m old and I don’t understand, what’s the big deal about URL’s?”
A valid question indeed. Two answers to this. Answer number 1, one of his friend’s responses was, “It’s so people can find you easier.” NO IT ISN’T. It’s vanity. It’s ALL about vanity. It’s so you can say, “Hey look at me, MY NAME’S in a URL. I’m AWESOME.” It’s got NOTHING to do with making it easier for people to find you. Second answer, oldness is a problem when it comes to technology, TO AN EXTENT. To those old folks not plugged in, it’s FRIGHTENING. This friend of mine has a family of his own and such, so he’s not very tech savvy when it comes to that sort of thing, but he does make a valid point in his question. He’s old and doesn’t understand. Websites and tech make NO EFFORT to pander to the older crowd. They don’t, because they’re too busy pandering to women, by making a phone that has a MIRROR POP OUT OF IT! I’M FUCKING SERIOUS. Here’s one of these abominations of techlife.
Click on that image and you can read all about it, it isn’t the one with the mirror in it, but it IS a phone for women. But old people generally DO get the boot when it comes to technology.
Same thing with Vanity Plates. Ever wonder why they’re CALLED that? Because the people who have them ARE FUCKING VAIN! These people always put some stupid ignorant shit like “momlvsu” or my personal favorite, they try and spell out some funny thing using only numbers and letters. Like, “girlpwr”. It’s DISGUSTING. It’s civilian choices GONE TOO FAR. All it says about them is that they are willing to drive around looking like an IDIOT. My step-dad’s actually says his name, and then photography after it. Yeah, he put his company name ON HIS LICENSE PLATE. Hey, idiot, IT’S NOT THE BATMOBILE. People are NOT going to care, and it’s NOT going to get you business! Take it off, you’re a FUCKING LOSER. Drive around with normal plates!
When you sign up for myspace you can do the same thing, only myspace is SUPER vain. Because not only does myspace give you a url, oh no, it’s called MYspace. It’s all about YOU. Everyone needs their own personal space on the web now, everyone needs a place to put photos of their ugly fucking baby with three arms and two vaginas, and post stories about their cousin’s dog who had a love affair with a vietnamese mailman. Let me tell you something about your little spots on the web, folks. NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU. If you’re actually doing something, and I mean REALLY DOING SOMETHING, like writing intelligent shit or putting reviews of things or contributing somehow to this world wide webiverse (I really should copyright that) then yes, your little spot counts. But to create a flickr feed just so you can upload images of your poodle dryhumping your egg beater so your family can laugh at it IS POINTLESS. You’re taking up valuable internet space, and there’s a little thing called E-MAIL you could use instead of wasting time, wasting space and being vain!
For god sakes, some of these people are so vain, that these pregnant couples actually say “WE’RE pregnant”. Yeah, like the guy is carrying around a fetus in his stomach! Human beings are so vain, they have to include themselves in EVERY activity, be it whether or not they are ACTUALLY a part of it.
And I leave with the most vain song EVER, just proving that everyone thinks they’re awesome.
m@rk
June 16, 2009 at 7:07 pm
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