There are many inventions that have offered themselves to the decline of human intelligence and civilization, but I think the worst of these “lazy” inventions has to be the automatic toilet.
The automatic toilet is built around the idea that someone is NOT going to flush a toilet when they leave. They have decided this, and we have caved INTO this. NO. This is what we should NOT be doing. How hard is it to flush a fucking toilet? NOT VERY. So instead of helping these people learn to flush toilets, we caved in and decided to give them something to aide and abide their problem, we invented automatic toilets.
It’s almost like teeth whitening gum or those strips. It’s like, “Make your life easier by doing less” which everyone would LOVE! But it’s not REAL is it? Because if people had chunks of free time, what would we DO with it? We’d find something ELSE to fill it up with! We are creatures of habit, we always have to be doing SOMETHING. So to make teeth whitening gum is almost like, “Yeah, don’t brush your teeth, whatever! And don’t flush the toilet while you’re at it! It’s TOTALLY OK, we’ve installed a sensor for this very reason, because it will flush it for you.” Oh but it doesn’t stop THERE, no, no it goes on to another product, which I like to call The Remote Control.
The Remote Control, ok. The whitening strips and even the toilet flushing I can handle. People are busy man, people are busy, and sometimes they don’t remember to flush the toilet because of the schedule they have to keep or they don’t have the time some days to brush their teeth, so the whitening strips help, but the remote confuckingtroll is the end of human civilization. It is built around the idea that yes, you ARE so lazy you aren’t going to walk a FUCKING FOOT to your television to change the channel or lower the volume. This one is WAY outta line, because unlike the OTHER two, people are at least NEAR their TV’s, ok? If you’re so lazy that you need a fucking remote control to turn your volume down for you, maybe you should just go to an old folks home at this point, alright? Get the fuck outta your house, sell your shit and put yourself in a retirement home, you’ve lost your youth.
Automatic Toilets are for dumbshits.
I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist.
m@rk
