Barbie Is Smart

I’m sick and tired of hearing how dumb Barbie is.

Everywhere you go, everyone says, “Barbie is a HORRIBLE influence on our children! She’s a bad role model, her outfits give our little girls bad impressions and teach them not to be women and blahblahblah I don’t get fucked enough by my husband so I bitch”. So let me just say this to you: YOU’RE A FUCKING IDIOT, because Barbie-as much evidence as there may be to the contrary-is a marketing GENIUS, ok? The bitch has her own camper, corvette, condo, thousands of outfits AND her own fuckin’ DREAMHOUSE, ok? And she didn’t take any shit from Ken. You know HOW we know she didn’t take any shit from Ken? Because look at Ken when he’s undressed. The dude has NO FUCKING GENITALS. She cut them off.

Mattel has claimed that every second two barbie dolls are sold. She’s been in business since 1959. She’s been sold worldwide in over 150 countries and has had her own film line, ok? She’s not dumb, she’s a marketing guru! What people SHOULD be worried about are those fuckin’ BRATZ dolls because THOSE things are whores. Barbie teaches you to invest your money wisely, BRATZ teaches you to be a slut. I mean just look at their NAME for christs sake! They’re called that because that’s their main target/focus group. Bratty girls who whine and complain until they get what they fucking want.

You know how hard it is to build a dreamhouse? The money, the people who you need to work on it, all that shit? It is EXPENSIVE, ok? She’s conquered the entire toy market, she is the Queen of toys. A Queen with no King, which I think we can ALL agree is the way it SHOULD be. Men should have NO power. So the next time someone attacks Barbie, just ask them, “Yeah? Well do YOU have a dreamhouse? Didn’t think so, shut it bitch.”

m@rk