Text Time

I hate text messaging for one simple reason.
If you don’t reply in time, you’re an ASSHOLE. If you don’t reply in like, ok, there’s basically a rule. Somebody decided on an allotted time that would be the best time for a reply message, it’s a minute and a half. If you don’t reply within that [...]

Automatic Toilets

There are many inventions that have offered themselves to the decline of human intelligence and civilization, but I think the worst of these “lazy” inventions has to be the automatic toilet.
The automatic toilet is built around the idea that someone is NOT going to flush a toilet when they leave. They have decided this, and [...]

Killer Candy

So some guy died yesterday, and apparently what happened was he fell over a rail into a vat of melting chocolate.
Is there a more pussy way to die? HONESTLY? And what if that guy was like, your brother? How do you even explain that to people, I wonder? Like you’re talking to someone and they [...]

Reverse Breakup

How come when someone doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore, they act like a douche in order to get the OTHER person (the one who generally wants to FIX the relationship) to leave, and when the other person DOES leave, THEY are considered the asshole?
Like, if you get divorced and go around tell [...]

Child Proof Locks

Alright, let’s get one fucking thing straight here. CHILD PROOF LOCKS ARE AN EPIC FUCKING FAIL.
Yeah, alright, so here we go. A few kids are retarded and decided, “Hey, let’s open this bottle of pills, they look like candy!” So they take these pills, so some idiot decides that kids are stupid (no SHIT) and [...]