Why I Can Prove Your Conspiracy Theory Wrong
I love conspiracy theories.
I do. I love the thoughts and ideas that are articulated, the prophecies that people claim to know and everything about them. But here’s the problem. They’re for FUN. Ok? In between watching “King of the Hill” and “Eraserhead” last night, I flipped to a show on the history channel to view a special on the 2012 bullshit. During the special, they said all the possible things that could happen, they said all the different prophecies that are all ending on that date and so and so forth, but guess what you 2012 idiot believers, guess what they DID say? They said, and I fucking quote, “Even though the prophecies and the theories are around, there is NO SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE OF ANY KIND to say that 2012 is a deadly year.” Well, there goes your fucking case, you morons, onto the next thing I guess.
I love conspiracy theories and my main reason is because it’s interesting to see what people will come up with if given the chance. It’s like those inkblots or dot photos where you can see two images, in one a rocket ship and the other a whale. We-as humans-have a need to want to know all sides of the story. It’s why we have fucking COURT, for god sakes! Two sides equally trying to defend their version of the “truth”. Listen, conspiracy theories are interesting, they’re fun to watch, they’re fun to hear, but they are not true, because they are called conspiracy THEORIES. It’s also why I don’t understand the people who say that evolution is a fact. How is evolution a fact if it’s called the THEORY of? I’m all for evolution (definitely more so than the opposing choice) but let’s get real here, theories are theories because we can’t PROVE that the “facts” behind them are FACTS. That’s it, said and done.
And besides, how often has the end of the world been proficised anyway? These people make irresponsible predictions! An untold number of people have tried to predict the end of the world by using elaborate time tables. Most date setters do not realize mankind has not kept an unwavering record of time. Anyone wanting to chart-for example-100 BC to 2000 AD would have to contend with the fact 46 BC was 445 days long, there was no year 0 BC and in 1582 we switched from Julian Years (360 days) to Gregorian (365 days). Because most of these people are not aware of all these errors, from the get go, their math is already off by several years! Just starting in the 90’s ALONE, there have been 53 predictions! Over 220 dates have been picked by humans ALONE that they said would end the world, and guess what, EVERY SINGLE FUCKING ONE HAS BEEN WRONG. I’m all for “If at first you fail, try again” but I also believe in “3 fucking strikes and you’re out”. Come on. There HAS to be some sort of deadline. An accumulated whopping 220 wrong dates, JESUS these people are bad. If they can’t get 1 out 220 right, why are we FUCKING LISTENING TO THEM?! Every couple of years or so, some JACKASS comes along with a half assed prediction of the end of the world. Let me help you out here, buddy:
“Oh my god, I just read in this scientific magazine that ____ is the end of the world! It’s because _____ corresponds with ______ and that also meets up with ______ date! If this is true, then that means that _______ is totally the end of the world on _____ at _____ time! We’re doomed!”
There, I just saved somebody in the future a whole mess of trouble.
m@rk
